The room inside my head

Stolen

2009-04-07T05:19:39Z

1. What is your occupation?
Police Dispatcher.

2. What color are your socks right now?
Grey

3. What are you listening to right now?
Jack Johnson

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Bagel.

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Hope so, or else i'm walkin home from work..

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Forest green.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Some drunk kid

8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
always

9. How old are you today?
24, 19 days t'll bday

10. Favorite drink?
cold beer

11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Baseball

12. Have you ever colored your hair?
the right way? once or twice.

13. What is your full name?
Missy D

14. Favorite food?
Thai food

15. Last movie you watched?
Don't remember..i like tv series

16. Favorite Day of the year?
thats a weird question. i dont know

17. What do you do to vent anger?
usualy something i regret the next day

18. What was your favorite toy as a child?
A flounder bath toy from the little mermaid

19. What is your favorite season?
Autumn

20. Hugs or kisses?
depends on who its comin from

21. Cherry or Blueberry?
blueberry

22. Do you want your friends to post back?
sure

23. Who is most likely to respond?
?

24. Who is least likely to respond?
?

26. When was the last time you laughed?
really hard? it's been a while

27. What is on the floor of your closet?
shoes

28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
im not sending it to anyone

29. Who is the friend you have known the shortest that you are sending this to?
see above

30. Favorite smells?
Fall in Chicago, Spring in New Jersey, Winter in Boston, Summer in NYC

31. Inspires You?
People. music. the weather..?

32. What are you afraid of?
I hate being away from famile all the time

33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
Cheese.

34. Favorite car
my old honda..ya had to punch the dash to turn on the radio. love it

35. Favorite cat breed?
whatever

36. Number of keys on your key ring?
7

37. How many years at your current job?
1 almost

38. Favorite day of the week?
the fourth day of my rotation

39. How many states have you lived in?

3

Sucks

2009-03-30T05:11:19Z

Two good friends of mine broke up today. Of course I don't know all the details, but it seems like a case of retribution. Lets say my friends are person A and person B. Well, A and B had a past history, years ago..that didn't work out cuz B cheated. Fast forward a few years later and A started dating person C. They broke up. After that A and B started dating again, and this time it was for reals. Until...today. Turns out, A just can't get her mind off person C and has to go back and get her closure..another chance..retribution...who knows.

Anyway, all this to say, I'm layin in bed with the gf talking about it and I simply state that although I feel like person A is being selfish, I totally understand it, and would be lying if i said I've never done that before.... throwing away something good for something that you know deep down is definitely not worth it..but for some reason you still pursue. That convo then led to this.

GF: Are you gunna leave me for someone you still love?
Me: Never, i'm already with the person i love.
Me: Are you gunna leave me?
GF: Of course not!
Me: Do you really think I would leave you or cheat.
GF: Based on what you were saying earlier...well..ya know, a leopard can't change it's spots...

Burned.

Anyway, do ya'll agree that it's healthy to keep an ex that you loved in your heart when you've moved on to a new relationship? You know what i mean, i don't know how to word it. I think it's healthy and okay, it's human...right?

Also, I am aware of how anticlimactic this story is. sorry.

This works.

2009-03-17T08:37:36Z

Unpacking and moving into this new apt has been such a wild experience. I've lived with some of my past ex's, but i've never dated someone and moved into a new place with them. It's a really...demanding...expierence. Physically, emotionally, mentally, in every way I have been pushed these past two weeks...and, I love it. I'm making a...we're making a home together.. I can't wait to see what more we're capable of doing together...

Also, maybe part of me feels really good about things cuz I threw out A LOT of shit this move. Stuff that I've been holding on to for years! Unhealthy things...well, things that were unhealthy for me to STILL have. Ya know that shit that you never really look at but you know it's there..a that's enough to make you feel safe... I threw out all THAT shit. I feel lighter. It wasn't hard either. I didn't let myself get all wrapped up in it, i just continuously moved my hand from the pile to the garbage bag..then brought it outside..and moved on to the next thing..

I'm so happy to be back in a city.

Also, it's been two months since i've had a pack of cigarettes...

...

2009-01-26T21:04:10Z

I found out last night that my mother might be extremely sick. I find out tomorrow morning the full details. It feels so surreal. The thought of losing her, of packing up and moving back home, of the effect this may have on everyone in my family.... I can't believe im writing this online.... I'm trying anything to make me feel better...all i wanna do is puke...

Much Love..

2008-12-04T00:58:21Z

Leave me a comment and I will reply with at least one reason why I like you or one thing I like about you. If I feel I don't know you well enough for that, I'll tell you why I like your LiveJournal or, at least, why I added you as a friend. You must pay for the privilege by posting a message like this one on your LiveJournal (unless, of course, you already did).

(stolen from all over)

Ganked

2008-01-13T03:46:24Z

84% Dennis Kucinich
82% Mike Gravel
70% Barack Obama
69% Chris Dodd
68% John Edwards
66% Joe Biden
66% Bill Richardson
64% Hillary Clinton
44% Ron Paul
36% John McCain
33% Rudy Giuliani
30% Mitt Romney
29% Mike Huckabee
22% Tom Tancredo
21% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Ganked

2007-05-20T15:59:53Z

You are Strength

Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.

This is a card of courage and energy. It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it. Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card 8 instead of Strength. With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Wait

2007-02-10T05:32:40Z

Their is this slight strand of hair that catches your eye and turns to hug the curve of your chin
It falls into place instantly, naturally, everytime
I want to be that in your life
I want to turn and bend in ways to catch your fall
I want to compromise my composure
Naturally, collaps at your feet
Brush beside your cheek
kiss your chin
and wait
I will wait

Steps

2007-02-10T05:26:58Z

I've thought of calling you "the one that got away"
But realized how foolish that would be since I keep you in my heart close to my chest
Your that steady beat by which i live by
You are my bass
Living inside me
Heavy and solid my steps fall in to place
I can feel you, I can still your face
It reminds me of home, of my youth, of nights spent sitting in that diner booth where i realized the world was mine for the taking
But all I want now is you.

Seriously?

2006-12-27T02:41:35Z

I can't believe this is the last week of 2006! I had a bit of driving to do today, so I got lost in my head just thinking about all that's happened. This past year has shown me how to love, trust... and just feel in ways that i never knew were possible. It definitely brought some pain as well, but it was well worth it. I think I learned the most this past year..opposed to just experiencing it. I took a lot away from it all, every month was some new lesson for me....I can't believe it's coming to an end..I almost kinda feel like I'm not ready for it to be over.

...I miss living in Chicago..

All you poor chicago peeps...

2006-12-01T16:18:07Z

sucks to be you....It was 71 here yesterday and it's 68 today. If you wanna know the truth though,...i'd much rather be playin in the snow with ya'll today : )

Ganked from TD

2006-11-15T04:03:32Z

Sooo, you may or may not have heard about the ruling made in Maryland: once initial sexual penetration happens, a woman forfeits her right to say no: she can't change her mind, and if the other person forcibly continues it is not considered rape. The full article as reported on indymedia can be found at
http://portland.indymedia.org/en/2006/10/348399.shtml
or you can go to the original report at
http://www.thewbalchannel.com/news/10198629/detail.html.

Please take a minute to write/email/call the MD delegate Jean Cryor and tell her that this is UNACCEPTABLE. Her phone # is: (410) 841-3090, (301) 858-3090, or (800) 492-7122 x3090. Her address is Jean Cryor, Lowe House Office Bldg, Rm 226, 84 College Ave., Annapolis, MD, 21401-1991, and her email is jean.cryor@house.state.md.us.

Nomy, this is for you...

2006-11-13T03:15:10Z

You are Mahogany

Stable and decisive, you lack the hyper energy of most orange colors.
You're still energetic, but you tend to project a peaceful, relaxed vibe.
You love to feel cozy. You often rather wrap up in a blanket than go out for the night.

What Color Orange Are You?

Peroneal tendon!

2006-11-12T23:40:57Z

Folks...seriously avoid tearing this tendon at all costs! I really dont think i've ever been in more pain. Foots all wrapped up, I have this shoe cast thingy, I cant run for over a month, I shouldn't even be standing for more than 20 min at a time...but...everything will be fine..one little word peoples: Vicodin

Seriously though, it hurts like a bitch..

Even more seriously, LISTEN to your body!
I worked out, my foot felt a little sore, didnt think anything major of it, I pushed myself and ran again the next day, and now here i am...sucks!

I think i remember a certain little somebody tellin me to be careful of something like this happening a couple months ago....wished i had listened!

About to go to the hospital..

2006-11-12T18:08:08Z

I swear, by the time i die, I will have broken every bone in my body!

update soon...

What next???

2006-11-08T02:48:14Z

So, im here, im adjusted, what next? Things aren't moving fast enough. I need to get out there and kick some ass! Im getting a car tomorrow, i start work on thur, and school is right around the corner..it just doesnt seem fast enough though. No more rushing, no more planning things by the minute, no more skillfully mapping out bus a train routes. Even when everything starts up here, I fear that I still won't feel full. Everyone and everything happens so slow here, meanwhile my mind is racing a mile a minute.Its so weird, cuz I thought the midwest was slow, but it was still a city, so really not so much.. and now im on the east coast, but in bumblefuck...you'd think it would even out right?

Backyard

2006-11-01T04:21:58Z

So this is the back of my parents house where im livin for the time being..this is where i want yall to came and stay with me...I want to go camping and hiking in their backyard..i know it's cheesey but i think it would be shit loads of fun..plus i've wanted to do it for 2 years now, but im too chicken to do it on my own..the woods go pretty deep..

Hussah vs. Change

2006-10-31T14:41:36Z

Sooo, Im here. After a HARRRible flying experience. I got to the airport around 10-10:30 and got to my rents house around 8. it's only an hour and a half flight....Blahhh
I was sitting next to this girl who was moving to brooklyn from california...she was psycho. people from california are weird..just sayin. She kept on singing really loud, everyone was turning to look...I was just like... Sorry guy's... it's not me..by the way..does anyone wanna trade seats?? kayyy didn't think so.. just thought id try.. So now im here...it's very quite..but beautiful. I love the fact that i came home to do my shit..but it fuckin hurts..I miss my family..the people who actually know me. I keep on randomly bursting into tears..I thought that id hold on to it a bit and then deal with the change of things in a week or so, but apparently I have no say in it. I just fuckin miss you all so much..already!

Im gunna go try and see if i can take picture of the backyard..its soooo pretty!

Random

2006-08-12T20:16:00Z

- When I think of love, relationships, women..any of that, it makes me feel a little sick..like I wanna puke.

- I wish I had just moved here and I have the chance to redo all of the relationships I have with everyone here.

- I want to run away again.

- 11 more days and the love of my life will be in my arms!

- I've found that I have a very hard time telling the truth when I think it'll do more bad than good....(im a wuss)

- whenever I like someone it's never the right time for them,..and when people like me it's never the right time for me, and when we like eachother, it's never the right time for either of us....I GIVE UP!

Dear you..

2006-07-15T22:37:14Z

Please stop squeezing my heart...it pumps fine on it's own.

- Me

ganked

2006-07-09T20:07:41Z

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	✓ I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books. (although, not all of em are here :()
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. (supposed to, but im a clumsy fuck)	× I love to play video games. (only guitar hero!!)	✓ I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone's bones. (just a finger..oops)	✓ I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	× I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now.
× I love sushi.	✓ I talk really, really fast.	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	✓ I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
× I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
✓ I have a lot of mood swings.	× I think prostitution should be legalized.	✓ I slept with a roommate.
✓ I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends.
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex.	× I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
× I love to shop and/or window shop.	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
✓ I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	× I want to have children in the future. (dont know...)
✓ I have changed a diaper before.	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything.
✓ I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	✓ I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	× I enjoy some country music.
✓ I would die for my best friends.	× I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	✓ I have dated a close friend's ex.	✓ I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	× Democrat.	× Republican.
× I don't even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish.	✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	✓ I can work on a car. (I know a thing or two..)
× I love my job(s). (HA!)	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	✓ I have more than just my ears pierced.
× I walk barefoot wherever I can.	✓ I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	✓ I am proficient on a musical instrument. (Hmmm proficient...)
× I hate office jobs.	✓ I went to college out of state. (out of this state...)	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro. (I have real potential though...)	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
✓ I fall for the worst people.	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
✓ I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	✓ I can pick up things with my toes.	✓ I can't whistle.
× I have ridden/owned a horse.	✓ I still have every journal I've ever written in.	× I talk in my sleep.
✓ I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
✓ I have a tattoo.	✓ I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	× I am a caffeine junkie.
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	✓ I'm an artist. (of sorts...)	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	× I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes.	× I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	× I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business.	✓ I smoke. (Uhhhg!)	× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
× Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
✓ I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	× I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before.	✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	✓ I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
× I can't stand being alone.	× I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole.	× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
✓ I am a Libertarian. (in ways...)	× I can speak more than one language.	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
× I would rather read than watch TV.	✓ I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. (thats the best way..)
× I have no piercings.	✓ I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	✓ I like most animals better than most people.
× I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish.
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders. (shut the fuck up...I know someone is laughing.)	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.	× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. (..but some are..)	× I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	✓ I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
× I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	✓ I love to sing. (To myself)
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	× I have a custom-built computer.	✓ I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	× I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	✓ Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
× I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
✓ I need more time to myself.	✓ I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	× I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	✓ I love playing Truth or Dare. (I realy do ,...im a dork!)	✓ I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it. (I love both!)
✓ Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	✓ I can only hate someone that I love.	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

My timing sucks!

2006-05-24T23:39:34Z

It seems as though there is a right time and place for everything in life, and those rare moments when we decide to seize the day, despite our surroundings, well, it either goes amazingly well or horribly bad. I wish there was a beginners manual or a making decisions for dummies that I could read...Good things come to those who wait?? Everything in it's own time??? Fuck it, why cant we all just communicate more effectively so I don't have to play this constant guessing game?? although, I suck at it too, so I guess im not in any place to talk...just wishful thinking,...which makes up the majority of my life. I seriously need to do more, think less. I think, right? dammit!

gay ass love song : )

2006-05-11T01:01:06Z

I was thinking today how your like one of those pretty weeds, ya know, the yellow or purple ones. You always seem to creep up in the hidden fields of my mind. I lay there intertwined, hoping i'll somehow forget you, but no, not this time, cuz you just spread clear across, to right behind my eyes, taking up my whole mind, telling myself lies, oh, but how sweet it is to fantasize.

Baby, your growing on me in a way I cant control, so I guess ill just stay here in it and take a little stroll through the garden of my mind, but honey your the only thing i ever seem to find.

from far away you looked just like a little flower, but when I found out the truth I didnt much care, becuase whenever im with you i cant help to do anything but stare. Sometimes I dream about picking you and bringing you into my home and out of my head, wasting sunday mornings laying lazy in my bed. But I think you like it the way it is locked up in my thoughts a little secret that only we know, so I'll leave you alone in my garden of "What if's" where you can grow. Maybe one day if you see me walking by and you feel like you might wanna give us a try, I'll be waiting for you just up ahead eager to let you in on everything thats been left unsaid.

Baby, your growing on me in a way i can't control, so I guess I'll just stay in it here and take a little stroll through the garden of my mind, but honey your the only thing I'll ever need to find.

I've been taking these pills..

2006-05-10T23:20:27Z

I used to take them about two years ago and then stopped...they basically just give you daily vitamins and a WHOLE lotta energy!Your only supposed to take them in two week cycles, so i'm on an off week now and I feel like SHIT! Not sure If its just me or the pills, either way...just a tid bit scary..

Freaky dreams...

2006-04-27T19:39:47Z

I keep on having these crazy dreams about my teeth coming out. Sometimes I just put my hand in my mouth and effortlessly take em out, or they fall out on their own, or I have to pull a little. It never hurts though, and everyone else who's in the dream doesn't even notice...but i still get all self conscious about it...its weird. I looked up possible meanings, but all the sites I look at say different things about it.